Monday, 7 November 2016

25 things I have learnt at 25

I have seen a couple of other people use this concept and thought it would be a good idea for my own blog, I didn't want all of them to be deep. I wrote it as if I was giving advice to my younger self but I also wanted to put a few lighter things in. It is quite lengthy so grab a cup of tea, it took a couple of days to write as I really wanted to think about what I have learnt and hopefully you are able to take something away from it. I would love to hear anything you have learnt in the comments. 

1. You Can't Beat Clean Bedding

I don't know if it is a placebo effect but I feel like when you have clean bedding you have a much better nights sleep. I just enjoy the process of taking my sheets off, washing them, ironing them and putting them back on the bed. Before you get into a clean bed though you have to have a bath and put clean pyjamas on, it's the law. I also enjoy buying new bedding, I feel like it transforms the room.

2. Make The Most Of Your Grandparents

It isn't until your Grandparents are no longer here that you really miss them and wish you could spend just one more hour chatting to them, catching up and asking for their advice over a hot chocolate. This goes for any family member really, don't take them for granted as you never know when something is going to change. Make the effort to go and visit, it will mean more to them than you will ever know.

3. Just Because You Think Something, It Doesn't Make It True

We think lots of different things throughput the day however these things only become real if we believe them. As part of my anxiety I have always felt like something bad is going to happen or not believed in my own abilities or avoided things in case I get anxious. We have to train ourselves to think positively and to not let the negativity get in the way of our lives. If we believe these things we probably will end up never leaving the house.

4. Always Set Your Alarm Half An Hour Earlier Than You Have To Be Up

This may just be me but I am not a morning person whatsoever and sometimes find it quite difficult to get up. I find setting my alarm half an hour earlier helpful as it gives me chance to wake up properly and I like to think I'm not as grouchy.

5. Sometimes You Just Need Some Me Time

There are definitely times I just want to be on my own, read a book and relax. I think we all need that at some point, a little bit of time to ourselves to recharge our batteries. It helps us to learn to enjoy our own company and gain clarity.

6. If You Are Able To Change It...Change It

So by this one I mean if there is a reason you are unhappy or something is not going your way, then you can change it. You don't have to just deal with it. If you don't do something to change it the situation will not get any better. In my own experience my anxiety did not get any better until I made that initial first step to go to the doctors and sometimes that's all it needs to get the ball rolling. There is a solution to every problem.

7. Having Your Own Individual Style Is Better Than Following The Trends

I have always enjoyed experimenting with my clothes ever since I was a little girl (hides photograph of myself in a polka dot bikini and purple elephant wellies aged 3) and developing my own style but I did have a phase where in High School I would dress a certain way to fit in. Like the velour tracksuit trend, the fluffy boot trend or the wearing a side ponytail trend. It isn't until you get older that you realise it is much better to stand out from the crowd. So I may not have always got it right but at least I took the risk.

8. Your Never Too Old For Disney...Right?

You can't beat a Disney film especially when you feel down or don't feel very well. Once when I was going through a break up I watched Cinderella repeatedly. I find Disney films heart warming and they usually contain the best soundtracks.

9. Always Be Yourself

Never try to imitate someone else or act a certain way just because that's how you or someone else thinks you should act. People know when you aren't being authentic, be yourself and the right people will be drawn to you. You will also be much happier accepting who you are.

10. Baths are Better Than Showers

For me showers are to be taken when I don't really have much time and quickly need to get ready. Baths I like to spend a little more time in, it's where I relax and reflect on things or just have a little sing song and watch Youtube videos.

11. It Isn't About What You Don't Have, It's About What You Do Have

It is very easy to think about all of the things that you don't have or haven't yet achieved and should have by now but it isn't helpful in any way. It won't make those things suddenly appear or be achieved any quicker. Instead think about how far you have come and all of the amazing things you have done so far.

12. Look After Your Friendships

A friendship is a two way thing, make sure you know when to give up on a friendship if it isn't working and let it go and when to make every effort to make that friendship work. It is OK to go without seeing a friend for a while as long as when you do finally get to catch up it feels like you have never been apart. Make sure you make that effort to socialise but equally make sure your friends are making the same effort with you. I have a few really close friends which I would much prefer than having lots of fake friends. Sometimes you grow apart from friends which I think sometimes allows room for new friends. I love my friends, they are just the best.

13. Don't Compare Yourself To Others

It is super unhelpful to do this, we are all different and grow and progress at different times and that's ok. It is very easy to ask yourself 'why has that person who was in my year at school got their own house and I haven't' or 'why has that person got a really cool job and I haven't' or 'why is that person prettier than I am' but it means that we are just putting ourselves down when we would should be doing the opposite. Non of those things matter, just do you and worry about nothing but your own happiness.

14. It Is Never Too Late To Follow Your Dreams

I thought by now I would have everything figured out, I would be moved out, have a job in my dream career and be financially stable. It has definitely not worked out that way and that's alright. Right now I am working on myself before I work towards what I want to be doing, I just want to make sure I am alright before I do so. Even some of the most famous people didn't become famous until later on in their lives. It is never too late.

15. Never...Ever...Under Any Circumstances Pluck Your Own Eyebrows...Ever!

So, I learnt this one the hard way when at 12 years old I decided to make my eyebrows as thin as I possibly could make them and took it upon myself to pluck them every other day so that they stayed in a very thin line. It isn't until I look back at photographs I realise how ridiculous they look. Please Please go to a professional, it is so worth it.

16. Don't Be Afraid To Ask For Help When You Need It

This is something I always used to struggle with especially in school and university, I have learnt that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness like I always used to think. By asking for peoples opinions, help and advice you are actually helping yourself to grow and learn new things.

17. It Is Ok To Not Be Doing Something All Of The Time

I have struggled with this one quite a bit, if I am sat watching telly or not doing anything productive then I can't help but feel guilty and I am really hard on myself when I shouldn't be. Sometimes you need to chill out and relax, you are doing your body a favour.

18. You Can Never Have Too Many Shoes, Handbags or Disney Mugs

I definitely haven't written this one just because I own far too many shoes, handbags and Disney mugs. Oops OK maybe I have but a girl needs options.

19. Be Creative

I know that not everyone is creative but I find that when I concentrate on something that taps into my creativity, I feel much happier and proud of myself that I have achieved something. I find it quite relaxing and comforting.

20. Do What Makes You Happy

Don't do something just because it will make somebody else proud or because it's the expectations that your parents have of you, do what is going to make you happy and base it on what you enjoy doing. If something isn't making you happy then find something that will.

21. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway

This one I am still learning but it's a good one, we won't progress unless we put ourselves in situations we feel uncomfortable, how do we know we can't do something unless we at least try? Think back to the first day at school, making new friends or a job interview. You may have been completely petrified and felt uncomfortable but you got through it and possibly even got a lot out of it. It is something my therapist is always making me do, it isn't always easy but it does work.

22. If You Have Tried Everything Possible To Grow Your Own Nails...It's Time To Get False Ones

For the past 6 months I have worn nothing but glue on mainly Elegant Touch false nails. They are so much quicker, easier and there lots of different colours so that you won't get bored. So it's the slightly more expensive option but at least I have pretty nails and they aren't that damaging to your real nails.

23. You Can Only Do One Thing At A Time

I have a tendency to try and do a million and one things all at the same time, get far too stressed out and this results in doing non of them which is very unproductive. I find it helpful to make a list prioritising the things that need to be done first. Just do one thing at a time, you are only human and it is better to do just a few things well than do nothing at all.

24. A Cup of Tea Fixes Everything

Whether you have had a rubbish day or just need a little mood booster, a cup of tea can fix almost everything. It gives you that little break which allows a fresh perspective and motivation to try again.

25. Everything Happens For a Reason

I pretty much live by this one, it helps me to comprehend anything bad that happens and gives me hope that everything will be OK. Sometimes I can make a link and when I look back I realise why one rubbish thing happened in order to make another happier thing happen.

Spread kindness like confetti, laugh, smile and make lots of happy memories. Surround yourself with people you love spending time with but most happy. 

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